It’s Been a While

November 15th, 2009 by Lynne

I know it’s been over 3 months since I’ve written anything here on the blog.  I guess several things have come into focus or been resolved, so if anyone might still be reading this, I’ll try to give an update.

One of the reasons for no recent blog is that I started working for VNA (Visiting Nurses Assn) in mid-September. It has been over 17 years since I worked in the hospital - equipment and machines have changed, treatments and meds have changed, so it’s been a bit stressful catching up. 75% of our patients are Medicare, so I’m getting to see first-hand what a government-run healthcare system would feel like – an incredible amount of paperwork! We nurses are given laptops to use in the field as we visit patients in their homes, so the paperwork is actually computer work. I love getting to meet and visit people in their homes all over the county, and I am really enjoying the people I work with at VNA. God has been so good to provide for our family through everything that has happened. At first, I really resented being in the position of having to work at a stressful job, but God knew that I needed something to focus on to get outside of me and my loss, and the position has given me a renewed sense of confidence and purpose. I am a caregiver by nature and by profession, and as always, God has provided what I and our family needed.

I have been attending a weekly grief support group called Grief Share. It is an international program based in North Carolina consisting of 13 weekly videos to help those who have lost loved ones. Both trained Christian professionals, as well as every day regular people, talk about their grief experiences, what is normal, what is not, and what God has done in their lives to help them through this process called grief. The group and the videos have been extremely helpful for me in working through all the normal, but extremely powerful emotions everyone goes through in losing a loved one. I would highly recommend the series to anyone seeking help and resolution after losing someone dear to them.

Daniel and Becky are doing well. Daniel is in his first semester at Cabrillo, our local community college, and is doing a good job of rising to the demand of college schedules and responsibilities. He’s still deciding whether to continue next school year at community college, or possibly go to Seattle Pacific University, where Scott graduated from, since his chosen major is still uncertain. He continues to really enjoy volunteering at church helping out with both the Jr Hi and Sr Hi tech teams. Becky is working hard on her senior high school year, and all the necessary testing and application processes to go to college next year. She doesn’t know yet what she’d like her major to be, but her dream is to hopefully get into UCLA, and maybe at some point, be able to study abroad in Europe if the opportunity arises.

One of the biggest uncertainties after Scott died was all of his outstanding medical bills from UCSF that fell in-between the two insurance coverages because of lengthy delays in all the billing processes. I had applied to UCSF in August for finanial aid, but it wasn’t until this past week that I finally heard their decision. ALL OF THE $22,000+ IN MEDICAL BILLS HAS BEEN FORGIVEN! Once again, God has been so amazing in His protection and provision! Thanks to so many, many of you who have faithfully and consistently lifted up prayers to God for His help and intervention that the debt would be erased. After all, forgiveness of our ‘debts’ has always been God’s specialty!

One other piece of news that I’d hoped would be in place by now, but isn’t yet due to unforseen delays, is the Memorial Bench for Scott here at Mount Hermon. Mostly family and a few close friends donated funds for a bench in Scott’s memory this past summer. It is ready to be installed, but the original location became unavailable, and a new location had to be chosen. Hopefully within the next few weeks, it will be placed. The new site will be across the bridge and over the little stream at the far side of the Meadow (Rec Field). There is a small, cathedral-like grove of redwood trees where it will be situated in a very peaceful, comtemplative location. It will be a wonderful place to go, sit still, and remember him.

My last piece of news is also exciting for me to anticipate. As many of you may remember, in February of 2007, Becky and I had the incredible priviledge of going to India on a 2 week mission trip to give out Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes to some of the poorest children in the slums of Delhi. It was a life-changing experience for both of us, and the children of India still tug at my heart. So, God willing, I am planning on going again this coming late February to mid-March with a team from our church. If any of you are interested in giving prayer support, and/or financial help, please e-mail me at the address I still am using – scotthalverson@sbcglobal.net , and I will send you the info if you would like to know more.

Little by little, we are picking up the pieces and moving on to what God has for us. We miss Scott terribly, and he is never far from our thoughts, but God IS good, even though life is hard, and He has never let go of us. For all this, we are thankful. And for such supportive friends and family like you, we are eternally grateful.

God bless you all,

Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

Some Forgiven Debt

August 7th, 2009 by Lynne

I have been thinking for some time that I’d like to write an update on the blog, so the contents of today’s mail was certainly the incentive I’ve needed to actually do it. 

I had submitted to both USCF and our local Dominican Hospital financial aid applications, along with an explanation letter suggested by the attorney I’ve been working with. I received a notification today from Dominican Hospital that the almost $8,000 I’d been billed for Scott’s care was TOTALLY forgiven. Thank you God!

There is still a “known” or “billed” amount of $20-22K remaining from UCSF (probably additional bills have yet to come), from whom I have not yet received a reply, so we would appreciate prayer for a similar response, Lord willing!

Overall, it has been a good summer for all of us. We left July 16 to drive up to Seattle, where we were able to join immediate family to celebrate Scott’s mom’s 91st birthday on the 17th, as well as 60-80 other extended family at the annual Halverson Picnic/Reunion. For 2 weeks we really enjoyed getting away, being with friends and family and feeling very surrounded with love and protection. Thank you once again, Ted and Jane, for letting us stay with you and be a part of your family, too.

We returned a week ago late Friday, then enjoyed having 3 of Scott’s closest friends – Clint, Dan, and Marty – with their families, join us here at Mount Hermon on Sunday for a week of summer camp. Jill Briscoe has been the main speaker, and as she brought the life and times of the prophet Jeremiah to vivid life, so much of what she has shared feels like it was directed straight towards me. God has a way of doing that!

We are continuing to work towards finding out what God has in store for us in the near future. Daniel will be taking at least one year to attend the local community college this fall, and Becky will be in her senior year of high school. I am praying for direction as far as job hunting – nursing or something else, as well as whether full-time or part-time. I haven’t really concentrated yet on calling for information on options, but would appreciate prayer for God’s guidance, and that I would be carefully listening. We will be here at Mount Hermon at least through this coming school year, but don’t yet know what God will have us doing or where after that time. Maybe here, maybe not – but I’m sure God will show us when it’s time to know.

Many thanks to so many who have told me of their continuing prayers on our behalf. We are so grateful, as God continues to chip away to make us more like Him, since that is our greatest hope and prayer.

Bless you all, Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

Father’s Day Greetings

June 20th, 2009 by Lynne

Happy Father’s Day to everyone reading this. I know it’s been over a month since I sent out any word via this blog site, but we’ve had many calls have come in asking how we are doing, so thought I would give a quick update.

We’re hanging in there day to day – sometimes it’s a little easier, and the next day may feel very hard again, so it really depends on when we’re asked, and how life feels right then. Emotions can be very unpredictable, and change from one extreme to the other with no notice or obvious reason. We are so grateful for all of the prayers and encouragements from friends and family who keep reminding us that we are loved and not forgotten.

I am trying to figure out our financial picture – amazing how much time and effort it takes. We would appreciate prayers for God’s wisdom and provision, since all the thousands of dollars in uncovered medical bills (that fell in between the cracks when the first medical insurance money ran out) are beginning to come in. We are applying for financial help from UCSF, but I’m concerned that we may have to go through the life insurance Scott left for us to live on for a while. Many people have been so generous in the past, but financial help is NOT what I’m asking for right now – just prayers for God to work everything out in the best possible way.

This coming week, the three of us are all actually going to be on “vacation.” Daniel and Becky will be going with our church’s high school group for a week-long house boating, wake boarding, water skiing, etc, event, and I will (unexpectedly and last minute) get to spend the week up at Lake Tahoe with Mount Hermon’s Family Camp at Lake Tahoe. I think we’re all really looking forward to some time away relaxing and having a little fun. So if you call over the next week, we’re fine, but not answering the phone!

We hope all of you are well, and we continue to thank you for all the practical help, prayer support, and love we are continuing to be showered with. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and He will never leave or forsake us.

Bless you all,

Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

Thoughts and Thank You’s

May 10th, 2009 by Lynne

Greetings on Mother’s Day to everyone. Thank you so much for the many, many cards, hugs, phone calls, prayers, and all the comfort and encouragement we’ve received from so many. We are so grateful for all the outpouring of love.

I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve had the physical and emotional energy to put together anything that would be even semi-coherent here on the blog. Life has often just felt like a fog. Some days are okay, other days, I just don’t want to get out of bed. There’s a lot of official and financial details to take care of, and I seem to only be able to handle a few each day, and some days, none at all.

The past two days I’ve been going through the many pictures we have taken over the years in preparation for the memorial service, which has been both really good, as well as really hard. Too many times I’ve thought, “I’ve got to ask Scott where this was,” and then remember that I can’t. A week ago on Saturday, a whole crew of people came over to help get rid of overgrowth and brush in our front yard since it hasn’t had any attention for the past year and a half. Scott loved his roses, and now that so much has gotten cleared out, I keep looking out the window, maybe at dusk, and think I see him down there by the road tending his beloved flowers.

Friends of ours, Ted and Jane Hutchinson, have a coaching ministry to couples as well as pastors and their spouses. Ted was the pastor who married us a little less than 24 years ago. One of the wonderful gifts they gave us, was when Scott was too weak to type, he was able to dictate to Ted his thoughts, counsel, and love to me, Daniel, and Becky before he died. I’d like to share with all of you (with his permission) what he wrote in Scott’s honor a few days after he went Home to be with his Lord.

Well, I’m technologically challenged enough that I can’t copy and paste successfully, so all I can do is give the web addresses, and hope many will be willing to take the time to click on them and read what Ted wrote. The two are: www.soundviewcoaching.com and www.soundviewministries.org and it’s newsletter 409 on April 29.

We’re looking forward to seeing so many family and friends this next weekend as we celebrate Scott’s life. God bless you all, and thank you for so many expressions of love.

Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

P.S. Two songs that are meaning a great deal to me right now are, “I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin, and “There Will Be a Day” by Jeremy Camp.

Celebrating Scott’s Life

April 27th, 2009 by Lynne

Many have asked about when a memorial service for Scott might be, so they could make plans to come. Mount Hermon has been so wonderful in allowing our family to use their facilities to remember him.

We will celebrate Scott’s life on what would have been his 51st birthday, Sunday, May 17th, here at Mount Hermon at 4pm. There will be a light supper reception afterwards. There needs to be some kind of count for meal preparation purposes, so if you plan on staying for the supper after the service, please either call Cindy Ritchie at (831) 430-1230, or e-mail her at cindy.ritchie@mounthermon.org.

Thanks so very, very much for the love, prayers, and encouragement all of you have given via this blog. We feel very loved and upheld.

God bless you all,

Lynne, for our family

Scott’s Battle is Finished

April 23rd, 2009 by Lynne

As many of you already know, Scott went home to be with his Lord a little after 6 this morning.

I was able to be with him most of the night he was readmitted to the ICU on Tuesday night, and all day Wednesday. By 7pm, he was a little more stable, but his BP had been needing increasing pressors to maintain. The ICU medical staff felt he was stable enough for me to go back to the cottage to get some sleep.

Got a call about 11:45pm saying he had coded a couple of times, and that I should come in soon. By the time I arrived, he was more or less stabilized, but non-responsive, and the ventilator and pressors were pretty much maxed out and all that were keeping him going. The ICU staff were wonderful, and gave me a few hours to cry, talk to him, touch him, and decide what to do.

I made the decision to not pursue any escalation of treatment, since he was pretty much not able to respond any more anyway. I called our friends Ken and Mari Harrower, who were able to come up and be with me through to the end. I am so grateful for their presence, love, and encouragement, as well as friends Susan (Anastasia) Schaaf, and Conrad and Kimberly Podsada who were all willing to be wakened in the middle of the night for comfort and counsel.

I watched his BP, oxygen level, and heart rate all spiral down during the early morning hours, until by about 6am, all the values were incompatible with life, and asked them to turn everything off. His deeply depleted systems just could not overcome the massive assault of the sepsis infection and pneumonia.

After a second night of only 1 1/2 hours of sleep, I wasn’t safe to drive home, but really wanted to be with Daniel and Becky, so they could learn from me what had happened. Mari drove me home, while Ken followed in our car. I was able to communicate what they needed to know of their dad’s death, and we had a very painful but precious time of all three of us holding each other and crying for a while.

Thanks so much to all who have expressed their sorrow, love, and comfort as we figure out what life looks like now. We couldn’t have gotten through all of this up till now without the many prayers and support of all of you. The road now looks different, but no less difficult for a while. I am so thankful that Scott is now whole, healed, and in a place of great joy, and I know that I will see him again.

God bless you all,

Lynne, for Scott, Daniel, and Becky

Holding His Own, So Far

April 22nd, 2009 by Lynne

It’s been a day of ups and downs, balances and imbalances, but he’s hanging in there. Pneumonia is now on the list along with the sepsis, so he’s running a fairly high temp at this point (between 102-103F). The heavy duty antibiotics need 24-48 hrs to work before they’ll know how he’s going to come through this. His BP has been very dependent and sensitive to the IV pressor meds, and his O2/CO2 balances have been up and down. One side effect of the BP pressors is the potential of eventual failure of other vital organs, especially the kidneys. This morning they were talking about the possibility of his needing continuous dialysis, but so far, his kidneys are doing more or less ok. 

This morning, Scott and I had a “conversation” where he was mouthing questions such as “what happened,” “why did it all happen,” “what’s the plan,” and “let’s get going!” I was able to explain all I was aware of, and basically told him that all the “plan” was going, and that his job was to keep breathing, and rest so his body could fight the infections.

He is far from out of the woods, but every 12 hrs he keeps holding his own, the more likely he could pull through this infection onslaught when he has so little reserve at the start of the episode. I’m really hoping he might be stable enough that I could go back to the cottage here in S.F. tonight so I can catch up on some sleep. Please continue praying that he can be balanced enough during the night that I can feel comfortable enough to be gone.

Many thanks, many blessings on you all, and much love from all of us.

Lynne

Fighting for His Life

April 22nd, 2009 by Lynne

Scott is fighting a massive system-wide infection called sepsis (old term is “blood-poisoning”), and has been trying to pull out of septic shock all night. It’s taking 2 IV pressor infusions to keep his blood pressure up, and he’s been really struggling to maintain an appropriate  O2/CO2 balance with his respirations, needing many adjustments all night long to the ventilator settings to keep him from going deeper into shock. They had to give him meds to paralyze him for a few hours so the ventilator alone would do his breathing to try to correct the acid/base imbalances. He’s on 3 big gun antibiotics to combat the infection, but his anti-coagulation therapy (Coumadin) is very tricky to balance, so he is also at high risk for bleeding right now. 

I’ve been here at the hospital since about 12:30am, got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep in a chair in the waiting room, but when I had to leave the Unit at 7am for them to give report, they thought he seemed to be turning the corner. The ICU doc described him as “critically ill,” and his survival will still be uncertain for some time to come.

Amazingly, his mentation is intact when he is awake. In spite of all the infection and chemical imbalances his body is fighting, he still nods appropriately to my questions, and it bugs the heck out of him that he can’t talk since he is back on the ventilator. They can see he is a fighter, and that is much of the reason he is still alive.

Thank you all, SO MUCH, for you prayers. God’s peace has definitely been there through all of this uncertain night. Life is hard, but God is good.

Love from all the Halversons

More Prayer. . .

April 21st, 2009 by Lynne

Talked with one of the Nurse Practitioners at the ICU who said Scott had coded not 5 minutes after he got to the Unit. I asked her if I should come back up tonight. She said he’s doing ok right now, but he’s still really struggling to breathe and would be back on the ventilator soon. She thought it would be good for me to come up tonight.

I’ll be leaving soon (around10:45 or so) to return to UCSF. Please pray. . .

Back to the ICU

April 21st, 2009 by Lynne

Well, not only did Scott not come home as scheduled today, but as of 9:15 this evening, he’s had to be readmitted to the ICU for respiratory distress.

I came up to S.F. this morning, after being delayed here at home all day yesterday waiting for the hospital bed, oxygen set up, etc to arrive. He was beginning to have a little trouble breathing and needing more frequent suctioning, but some frequent respiratory therapy treatments seemed to help, and a chest x-ray showed no extra fluid in his lungs. The decision was made to keep him overnight, watch him, and discharge him in the morning. 

Since I was expecting him to come home, I didn’t come prepared to stay overnight  in the city, so around 6:30, since he seemed to be doing a little better, I headed for home. Hadn’t arrived at home for more than 10-15 minutes or so, and got a call saying he had gotten worse very quickly during the evening, and was being sent to the 13th floor Moffitt ICU. They didn’t feel I needed to turn around and return tonight, but I’m expecting a call from the ICU medical team sometime tonight with an update and a hopeful cause of the problem.

Please pray for a quick diagnosis and resolution of the respiratory problem, and for peace and comfort for Scott, as his road home just got who knows how much longer.

Thanks so much for all your prayers, love, support and encouragement.

In hope, Lynne for the Halversons