I know it’s been over 3 months since I’ve written anything here on the blog.  I guess several things have come into focus or been resolved, so if anyone might still be reading this, I’ll try to give an update.

One of the reasons for no recent blog is that I started working for VNA (Visiting Nurses Assn) in mid-September. It has been over 17 years since I worked in the hospital - equipment and machines have changed, treatments and meds have changed, so it’s been a bit stressful catching up. 75% of our patients are Medicare, so I’m getting to see first-hand what a government-run healthcare system would feel like – an incredible amount of paperwork! We nurses are given laptops to use in the field as we visit patients in their homes, so the paperwork is actually computer work. I love getting to meet and visit people in their homes all over the county, and I am really enjoying the people I work with at VNA. God has been so good to provide for our family through everything that has happened. At first, I really resented being in the position of having to work at a stressful job, but God knew that I needed something to focus on to get outside of me and my loss, and the position has given me a renewed sense of confidence and purpose. I am a caregiver by nature and by profession, and as always, God has provided what I and our family needed.

I have been attending a weekly grief support group called Grief Share. It is an international program based in North Carolina consisting of 13 weekly videos to help those who have lost loved ones. Both trained Christian professionals, as well as every day regular people, talk about their grief experiences, what is normal, what is not, and what God has done in their lives to help them through this process called grief. The group and the videos have been extremely helpful for me in working through all the normal, but extremely powerful emotions everyone goes through in losing a loved one. I would highly recommend the series to anyone seeking help and resolution after losing someone dear to them.

Daniel and Becky are doing well. Daniel is in his first semester at Cabrillo, our local community college, and is doing a good job of rising to the demand of college schedules and responsibilities. He’s still deciding whether to continue next school year at community college, or possibly go to Seattle Pacific University, where Scott graduated from, since his chosen major is still uncertain. He continues to really enjoy volunteering at church helping out with both the Jr Hi and Sr Hi tech teams. Becky is working hard on her senior high school year, and all the necessary testing and application processes to go to college next year. She doesn’t know yet what she’d like her major to be, but her dream is to hopefully get into UCLA, and maybe at some point, be able to study abroad in Europe if the opportunity arises.

One of the biggest uncertainties after Scott died was all of his outstanding medical bills from UCSF that fell in-between the two insurance coverages because of lengthy delays in all the billing processes. I had applied to UCSF in August for finanial aid, but it wasn’t until this past week that I finally heard their decision. ALL OF THE $22,000+ IN MEDICAL BILLS HAS BEEN FORGIVEN! Once again, God has been so amazing in His protection and provision! Thanks to so many, many of you who have faithfully and consistently lifted up prayers to God for His help and intervention that the debt would be erased. After all, forgiveness of our ‘debts’ has always been God’s specialty!

One other piece of news that I’d hoped would be in place by now, but isn’t yet due to unforseen delays, is the Memorial Bench for Scott here at Mount Hermon. Mostly family and a few close friends donated funds for a bench in Scott’s memory this past summer. It is ready to be installed, but the original location became unavailable, and a new location had to be chosen. Hopefully within the next few weeks, it will be placed. The new site will be across the bridge and over the little stream at the far side of the Meadow (Rec Field). There is a small, cathedral-like grove of redwood trees where it will be situated in a very peaceful, comtemplative location. It will be a wonderful place to go, sit still, and remember him.

My last piece of news is also exciting for me to anticipate. As many of you may remember, in February of 2007, Becky and I had the incredible priviledge of going to India on a 2 week mission trip to give out Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes to some of the poorest children in the slums of Delhi. It was a life-changing experience for both of us, and the children of India still tug at my heart. So, God willing, I am planning on going again this coming late February to mid-March with a team from our church. If any of you are interested in giving prayer support, and/or financial help, please e-mail me at the address I still am using – scotthalverson@sbcglobal.net , and I will send you the info if you would like to know more.

Little by little, we are picking up the pieces and moving on to what God has for us. We miss Scott terribly, and he is never far from our thoughts, but God IS good, even though life is hard, and He has never let go of us. For all this, we are thankful. And for such supportive friends and family like you, we are eternally grateful.

God bless you all,

Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon, and I’m sitting in Scott’s ICU room with him, watching him sleep. He got the breathing tube out this morning about 9:30 or so, and is doing fairly well on high levels of humidified oxygen. He’s weak and exhausted, but doing okay. They will keep him in ICU for at least another day or two, maybe longer to make sure his respiratory issues are resolving and, hopefully, he’ll be needing less oxygen.

A really neat answer to prayer: yesterday, Dr. Kaplan said he didn’t expect Scott’s body to start producing his own white blood cells until tomorrow or Tuesday at the earliest. Knowing how much his body needs them to begin healing, I specifically prayed last night for the labs this morning to start showing an increase, and guess what – it happened! Once again, Scott and God confound the doctors!

Scott’s next oldest brother, Terry, flew in this morning, so both his brothers and his nephew were able to talk with him a bit. All three have now left to return home, but it was really wonderful for them and Scott to have a little time together. I was able to show Scott the signed Lance Armstrong jersey while they were all here, and he got tears in his eyes. Thank you again, SO MUCH, Bryan and Patty Hayes, the Amgen Race Committee of Santa Cruz, and Giro founder Jim Gentes.

He is, of course, needing a lot of sleep – his body is putting out tremendous effort in trying to heal. He is certainly not out of the woods yet, but overall, he is heading in the right direction with the help of some occasional breathing treatments. Please do keep praying for increasing strength, easier breathing, and the ability to rest in the midst of much noise and necessary treatments.

All in our family are so grateful for the many notes of prayers and encouragement. I can’t tell you how much they mean when pretty much your whole world is a hospital. God has been so good to us in so many uncountable ways, and all of you are a part of that goodness He has given along this path. God bless you all.

With much love, Scott, Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

Lynne here – it’s been awhile since I wrote on the blog, and though I feel out of practice, I’ll try my best.

We have been waiting with great fear and trepidation the final results from Scott’s last pre-bone marrow transplant tests. Finally, late Friday afternoon, we got the good news that all was clear and no cancer was detected. Since Monday is a holiday, the insurance probably won’t be able to approve everything until at least Tuesday, so it’s likely to be Wednesday or later before Scott actually gets to be admitted.

So many relapses have happened to delay Scott getting to this treatment over the past 4 1/2 months that we can’t quite feel the elation until he’s acutally in the hospital and his admission is a done deal. But, we did go out to lunch today (Saturday) to celebrate, and it was wonderful to be out in the warm sunshine, eat out on the little patio, and have a little slice of normal life.

It’s weird to be excited that he’s going in for treatment that will make him so much weaker and sicker, but that’s what it will take to have the hope of longer life on this earth.

All of your blog notes have been so encouraging, and so often come at just the right moment they’re needed. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Please keep praying that all will go well until he actually gets admitted with no further delays, and then pray that he will be able to tolerate as well as possible this additional round of chemo.

God bless you all, and thanks for all your love and prayers,

Scott, Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

1/12/2009

3:45 PM

As I (Scott) sit and write we are 15 minutes away from the “family conference” with the doctors. It’s been a hard day to wait. At the meeting, they’ll tell me whether or not the 5 tests they’ve ran on me show any sign of cancer. If no cancer – then on to bone marrow transfer, and a possible medicinal cure. If there is cancer – well, the doctors have no more cards in their deck to play. It is the most surrealistic moment for Lynne and I; one way or another, our lives will be completely different in an hour.

Well, we finally got started around 5, meeting with Dr. Kaplan, Director of Adult lymphoma, and Rick, the RN in charge of coordinating our Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT). Without coming right out and saying “you’re approved”, it was pretty obvious things were heading in the right direction when Dr. Kaplan spent an hour on the whiteboard detailing what the medical treatments would be, side effects, risks, etc. Late in the meeting it was discovered that they had forgotten to run one of the necessary tests (a bone marrow biopsy), so it’s back up to San Francisco Wednesday. Once they have this, everything should be in place for final approval by the insurance folks and it’s now looking like early next week before I begin my hospital stay.

There were a couple of “odd spots” that showed up on the MRI’s that the Doc’s aren’t sure what they are. Lynne and I are having a hard time not being nervous as cats that this will 1. delay treatment further and 2. put me at ever increasing risk of this highly aggressive cancer returning. PLEASE PRAY for speedy resolution of these matters and that I can begin the BMT soon – it is my only (medicinal) hope to live longer years.

I’m continuing with my physical therapy. I’ve been super tired of late, hard to exercise the muscles, feeling weak. This has had us concerned. So today we dragged me down to my physical therapy appointment, again with me feeling very tired. Surprise, surprise, today turned out to be one of my best days standing and walking! So that was a real encouragement to Lynne and I.

I can see it’s going to be a longer road to recovery with my legs than previously thought. For one, the BMT process is going to make me very sick and weak, and I’ll probably lose much of the muscle I’ve rebuilt these past 6 weeks. Secondly, while some parts of my legs are back to normal, other parts are experiencing slow nerve re-growth (and often are not very functional). So I’ve been facing these last days the truth that it’s going to be a while before I’m back on the bike, and that life in a wheelchair will be a reality for a season. Life in a wheelchair – no getting up to walk to where you want to go, a tremendous feeling of loss of independence. And I’m continually finding myself fighting off guilt at how much the wheelchair adds to Lynne’s load. Those are some of the battles I”m fighting of late.

Lynne and I, while exhausted, remain convinced of God’s goodness and ultimate sovereignty. We get so many encouragements from God’s people – in every way conceivable – that it is hard to lose sight of this. You all that read the blog and pray and give encouragement, act as witnesses to the Great I AM that somehow has my cancer as part of his plan. Thank you!

We’ll keep you posted as things change!

Love, Scott, Lynne, Daniel and Becky

Wonderful Progress

Scott’s had a great week of progress, a little fun, and wonderful news that he gets to go home next Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving.

Becky and I went up to S.F. on Monday afternoon, and since St. Mary’s rehab center is just across the street from Golden Gate Park, we took Scott AWOL for a 30 min. wheelchair ride through the woods. It was a taste of heaven for him, since he’s been in a medical facility now for almost 8 weeks. We all liked it so much, we went AWOL again the next day on a different path, in spite of the fog – we just bundled him up in a blanket!

Then there’s the issue of hospital food – gets REALLY old after almost 2 months. So, what could be better than ordering out for Chinese food, delivered to his room! Can’t beat that for a little slice of normal!

After the weekly rehab team conference Tuesday afternoon, we were given the wonderful news that they would be aiming for Scott to be ready to go home by Wednesday the 26^th, the day before Thanksgiving. They all felt it was quite do-able, since he was making such good progress. The major hurdle that needed resolving was to get Scott up all the stairs in our house to reach the living area. We called our good friend from Scott’s men’s group at church, Mike Kaping, who just happens to be a contractor, to see if he had any ideas for ramps or something to help. Before we knew it, he had plans laid out to build a temporary ramp up to our back deck so Scott can just be wheeled all the way up until he’s ready to tackle the stairs. He and a small group of volunteers put in the pier supports this afternoon, and tomorrow expect to finish most of the construction. God has truly blessed us with so many wonderful friends. This journey would have been so much more difficult without the love, care, and practical help of so many, many people. There are no words adequate enough to express our thanks, love, and appreciation to all of you.

Treatment Plan

Scott is not walking yet, but all the doctors fully expect him to with time and lots of effort in Physical Therapy. PT at the rehab center has concentrated on strengthening his upper body first so he can be independent and can function at home as soon as possible. He will continue with outpatient PT here near home to continue regaining his muscle strength, and retrain his brain, nerves, and muscles to work together so he can learn to walk again.

Yesterday (Thursday), he had his second post-discharge-from-UCSF intrathecal chemo injection. All spinal fluid tests continue to be negative for any evidence of the cancer. (Thank you, God!) He’ll get his third IT injection next Wednesday afternoon after discharge from the rehab center, and then on Thursday, December 4, he’ll get his fourth IT chemo. He’ll also get a PET/CT scan that day to check and be sure the cancer is still in remission. At that point, the Hematology/Oncology team will need to make the decision whether to have Scott return to UCSF to undergo another round of the same chemo with the very nasty side-effects and proceed with the consolidation and stem cell-harvesting process soon (early to mid-December), or wait possibly until after Christmas in order for Scott to gain more strength and mobility.

If Scott can be up and around, maybe even walking by the time he goes back in to UCSF, it will greatly decrease his risk of potential infections that often accompany immobility, such as bed sore infections and pneumonia. The risks between waiting longer to increase strength and mobility, vs. keeping the cancer at bay will have to be weighed and a decision made by the doctors.

Prayer Requests

1. Praise for good enough progress that Scott gets to come home in time for Thanksgiving.
2. Praise that my sinus infection is long gone, and I’m able to be with Scott as much as I need to.
3. Praise for the ramp being constructed as a means of getting Scott easily in and out of our house.
4. Prayer for Scott’s good progress in strength and mobility to continue here at home, and that changes in PT personnel and locations do not cause a lapse in his abilities.
5. Prayer for continued remission of the cancer, as well as for wisdom for the doctors in weighing the risks, and making the right decisions.

This past year plus has been an amazing journey for us of yes, much pain, fear, and uncertainty, but it also has been so incredible to watch God at work providing for us and touching so many peoples’ lives in so very many ways. His provisions have come through His people, as well as His incredible timing in bringing about circumstances that only He could have put together. The journey isn’t over yet. There’s still a very long way to go with many unknowns, but there’s such a sense of being exactly in the place where God would have us to be, that He’s in control – no matter what may happen, and that His love and care are always surrounding us. Thank you, all, for the many prayers, the love, and the practical care you have given us. Again, there are no words adequate enough to express our gratitude.

Love Scott, Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

It’s early afternoon on Monday, and Scott’s asleep-which is very good. We just got back from the oncologist’s office before noon, where we learned that Scott is very anemic, as I expected from his energy level. I’ll be taking him in to the Outpatient Oncology Center near Dominican Hospital tomorrow at 9am to get 2 units (pints) of blood transfused. He’ll feel much stronger within a day or two, and I’d rather do this on a scheduled outpatient basis than as an emergency on a weekend.

Besides being very tired this weekend, he had no vomiting and almost no nausea – his best response to the chemo so far. Another victory he forgot to mention was that on Saturday, in the midst of all the rain, Scott, Becky, and I were able to get over the hill to a movie theater in Cupertino to see the U23D movie he’s been wanting so badly to have the energy and strength to see. Mission accomplished ( in spite of a few concerns from his nurse)!

Thanks so much for all of your prayers. I know I keep repeating this, but they are so uplifting and strengthening when our own strength is spent. We all long so much for things to just be “normal,” but that won’t be the case for some time to come. Scott is very sick and tired of being sick and tired, and not being able to do the things he’d like to do. So when he is able to get out for a movie, or a walk (however brief!) along West Cliff Dr., they are huge victories and accomplishments.

I love Isaiah 40:29-31 – “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall: but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I can hang on to these verses and keep going.

With love, the Halversons 

Well, not much to say today, but that’s not a bad thing. 2 days after my 3rd round of Chemo and I still haven’t thrown up. My sleep is all messed up – you know how one usually starts the night sleeping in longer spells, followed by shorter spells? For the last two nights running, I’ve been sleeping like 1 hour, 2 hours, 1 hour, 2 hours, etc. Finally was exhausted late morning today and slept until around Noon. So that type of sleeping pattern messes up the day. But at least I’m not throwing up and nauseated!

Becky and I went today to the Mount Hemon fitness center. It was fun to be there with her. I did about 20-30 minutes on the legs and that has left me worn out for the day. But over time this routine is what I need to do to get my strength back.

Tomorrow is a doctor check up day, probably with some sort of white / red booster we’re guessing. I’m also having some sort of nightime bathroom problem with which we hope to get some help.

That’s about it – nothing dramatic here today! We’d covet your prayers for good sleep.

Some of you have asked about Daniel and Becky. The biggest deal for them right now is that they’re just processing a lot still; Dad almost died; Dad faints from time to time; Dad is weak; lots of visitors; Mom has her hands full. I think in many ways they just want time and space to be themselves and process this in their own ways.

Oh yeah – almost forgot to mention that I’ve put back 10 pounds in the last week! It’s great to lose 38 pounds but it gets scary when one thinks about where it will end. To gain 10 back is a gift.

Thanks for all you’ve done and are doing for us.

Scott, Lynne and Kids