I know it’s been over 3 months since I’ve written anything here on the blog.  I guess several things have come into focus or been resolved, so if anyone might still be reading this, I’ll try to give an update.

One of the reasons for no recent blog is that I started working for VNA (Visiting Nurses Assn) in mid-September. It has been over 17 years since I worked in the hospital - equipment and machines have changed, treatments and meds have changed, so it’s been a bit stressful catching up. 75% of our patients are Medicare, so I’m getting to see first-hand what a government-run healthcare system would feel like – an incredible amount of paperwork! We nurses are given laptops to use in the field as we visit patients in their homes, so the paperwork is actually computer work. I love getting to meet and visit people in their homes all over the county, and I am really enjoying the people I work with at VNA. God has been so good to provide for our family through everything that has happened. At first, I really resented being in the position of having to work at a stressful job, but God knew that I needed something to focus on to get outside of me and my loss, and the position has given me a renewed sense of confidence and purpose. I am a caregiver by nature and by profession, and as always, God has provided what I and our family needed.

I have been attending a weekly grief support group called Grief Share. It is an international program based in North Carolina consisting of 13 weekly videos to help those who have lost loved ones. Both trained Christian professionals, as well as every day regular people, talk about their grief experiences, what is normal, what is not, and what God has done in their lives to help them through this process called grief. The group and the videos have been extremely helpful for me in working through all the normal, but extremely powerful emotions everyone goes through in losing a loved one. I would highly recommend the series to anyone seeking help and resolution after losing someone dear to them.

Daniel and Becky are doing well. Daniel is in his first semester at Cabrillo, our local community college, and is doing a good job of rising to the demand of college schedules and responsibilities. He’s still deciding whether to continue next school year at community college, or possibly go to Seattle Pacific University, where Scott graduated from, since his chosen major is still uncertain. He continues to really enjoy volunteering at church helping out with both the Jr Hi and Sr Hi tech teams. Becky is working hard on her senior high school year, and all the necessary testing and application processes to go to college next year. She doesn’t know yet what she’d like her major to be, but her dream is to hopefully get into UCLA, and maybe at some point, be able to study abroad in Europe if the opportunity arises.

One of the biggest uncertainties after Scott died was all of his outstanding medical bills from UCSF that fell in-between the two insurance coverages because of lengthy delays in all the billing processes. I had applied to UCSF in August for finanial aid, but it wasn’t until this past week that I finally heard their decision. ALL OF THE $22,000+ IN MEDICAL BILLS HAS BEEN FORGIVEN! Once again, God has been so amazing in His protection and provision! Thanks to so many, many of you who have faithfully and consistently lifted up prayers to God for His help and intervention that the debt would be erased. After all, forgiveness of our ‘debts’ has always been God’s specialty!

One other piece of news that I’d hoped would be in place by now, but isn’t yet due to unforseen delays, is the Memorial Bench for Scott here at Mount Hermon. Mostly family and a few close friends donated funds for a bench in Scott’s memory this past summer. It is ready to be installed, but the original location became unavailable, and a new location had to be chosen. Hopefully within the next few weeks, it will be placed. The new site will be across the bridge and over the little stream at the far side of the Meadow (Rec Field). There is a small, cathedral-like grove of redwood trees where it will be situated in a very peaceful, comtemplative location. It will be a wonderful place to go, sit still, and remember him.

My last piece of news is also exciting for me to anticipate. As many of you may remember, in February of 2007, Becky and I had the incredible priviledge of going to India on a 2 week mission trip to give out Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes to some of the poorest children in the slums of Delhi. It was a life-changing experience for both of us, and the children of India still tug at my heart. So, God willing, I am planning on going again this coming late February to mid-March with a team from our church. If any of you are interested in giving prayer support, and/or financial help, please e-mail me at the address I still am using – scotthalverson@sbcglobal.net , and I will send you the info if you would like to know more.

Little by little, we are picking up the pieces and moving on to what God has for us. We miss Scott terribly, and he is never far from our thoughts, but God IS good, even though life is hard, and He has never let go of us. For all this, we are thankful. And for such supportive friends and family like you, we are eternally grateful.

God bless you all,

Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

Scott is fighting a massive system-wide infection called sepsis (old term is “blood-poisoning”), and has been trying to pull out of septic shock all night. It’s taking 2 IV pressor infusions to keep his blood pressure up, and he’s been really struggling to maintain an appropriate  O2/CO2 balance with his respirations, needing many adjustments all night long to the ventilator settings to keep him from going deeper into shock. They had to give him meds to paralyze him for a few hours so the ventilator alone would do his breathing to try to correct the acid/base imbalances. He’s on 3 big gun antibiotics to combat the infection, but his anti-coagulation therapy (Coumadin) is very tricky to balance, so he is also at high risk for bleeding right now. 

I’ve been here at the hospital since about 12:30am, got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep in a chair in the waiting room, but when I had to leave the Unit at 7am for them to give report, they thought he seemed to be turning the corner. The ICU doc described him as “critically ill,” and his survival will still be uncertain for some time to come.

Amazingly, his mentation is intact when he is awake. In spite of all the infection and chemical imbalances his body is fighting, he still nods appropriately to my questions, and it bugs the heck out of him that he can’t talk since he is back on the ventilator. They can see he is a fighter, and that is much of the reason he is still alive.

Thank you all, SO MUCH, for you prayers. God’s peace has definitely been there through all of this uncertain night. Life is hard, but God is good.

Love from all the Halversons

Hello to all our faithful friends and family who continue to support us spiritually, financially, emotionally, and practically in so many, many ways. Scott is making amazing progress after 2 weeks out of the ICU, and the case worker and medical staff are deep in the process of making all necessary preparations for him to be discharged to home soon – possibly within the next few days to a week if all details come together.

He’s been 2 days now without the feeding tube, and has been able to take in enough oral nutrition (with the help of high calorie and protein drinks) to keep the tube out. PT is working hard at increasing his mobility and endurance, and today he was able to sit up high in the neuro chair for over 2 hours – longest time up since before he went into the ICU. His room is up on the 14th floor of UCSF and at the end of the hall facing towards the Golden Gate Bridge and Park. We rolled him in the chair out to the wall-to-wall floor-to-ceiling picture window where he had an incredible view and ate lunch. No fainting or dizzyness – yay! So this is another huge step in getting him mobilized and upright.

There was some discussion of possibly closing up his trach before he went home to let him breathe through normal channels, but the ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) docs feel he is not yet able to handle the respiratory secretions adequately to prevent pneumonia from occuring. Evidently, respiratory sequellae and problems can occur for up to a year after a patient having pulmonary clots of the magnitude and seriousness that Scott had. Hopefully, as secretions do continue to decrease (which they definitely are), he’ll be able to have the trach closed at some time in the not too distant future.

Within a few days we’ll be getting several items of medical equipment delivered to our home, including a hospital bed, oxygen tanks, and much more. We’re hoping Scott will be ready for a reclining wheelchair before he leaves the hospital, because if he’s not, there will be no way to get him out of the bed and bedroom for a change of scenery. Please pray that he’ll be strong enough in time, otherwise it could be weeks at home before there’s enough documentation to justify ordering it (and insurance paying for it!).

Speaking of insurance, there are still a lot of things that need to fall into place in the right order and right timing in the transition between the old and the new insurances. We are trusting that God in His sovereign power will pull all things together at just the right time to provide for our needs, as He already has so many, many times through all of this.

Another prayer request would be for the whole issue of help for me at home with caring for Scott’s many needs – that it will all be figured out in the right timing. There are several possibilities being looked at, but no certainty or definite decisions available yet.

Enough for this blog note, but hopefully, if he has adequate energy and time, the next blog might even be written by Scott himself!

God bless you all, and our deepest gratitude to all of you.

Much love, from Lynne for the Halversons

It’s Thursday morning, April 9, and 17 years ago today, our daughter, Becky, was born at 7:30 in the morning. Happy Birthday, Becky!

Sorry to have taken so long to update the blog, but I’ve been so busy that I just haven’t had the chance. Scott has been out of the ICU now for 1 week as of today, and he is doing really well. Secretions in his lungs continue to be a problem (and will be for some time to come with the pulmonary clots), but the staff are doing an excellent job of giving him regular breathing treatments and suctioning. Thankfully there’s no sign of infection (pneumonia) so far, so hopefully we can keep him free of respiratory illness.

The other issue of the open area at his tailbone is resolving wonderfully. With the new bed, consistent nutrition, and regular bandage changes, it’s healing and closing in beautifully. At this point, he is probably able to take in somewhere around 30-50% of his needed nutrition by eating, and the rest has to be by tube feedings, mostly at night. The main problem is just that it takes so long and requires so much energy to carefully chew and swallow around his trach, that just getting through half of a meal easily can take 1-2 hours.

One of the biggest goals is for Scott to be strong enough so he can come home, and to that end, Physical Therapy is working with him daily. He has been horizontal for so long, that even just sitting upright would cause him to essentially faint and lose consciousness. We’ve been getting him accustomed to being upright by raising the head of his bed up more often for more time. Tuesday, he was actually able to sit up on the edge of the bed (dangling) for 2 1/2 minutes, (without passing out) and then Wednesday, he dangled for a whole 8 minutes! The Physical Therapist, who is pretty non-demonstrative, was practically skipping out of the room because she was so thrilled with what Scott was strong enough to do. She shares a love of bicycling with Scott, and her mental pictures of how this feat is equivalent to Scott climbing a long, steep hill on his bike, were really helpful for him to picture as it takes absolutely every ounce of strength and energy he can muster right now just to sit on the edge of the bed.

Please continue to pray for all the financial/insurance/MediCal issues that we’re attempting to resolve. Unfortunately, it takes up a lot of Scott’s and my time together and much of his available energy trying to get it figured out.

Scott has been part of a four-some group of friends that have known each other since Jr. Hi. school, and have kept in close touch in spite of being spread out all up and down the West Coast – from the Seattle area to down below the Los Angeles area. The other 3 guys all flew or drove in today to be with Scott for a couple of days, so he’s been really excitedly anticipating their visit. Thank you, to Dan, Clint, and Marty for being such great, loyal friends, and to Amy and Shelly for letting your husbands come.

Thank you for all the continued care, love, comfort, prayers, and support from so many who are continuing down this path with us. When Scott is ready to come home, we will need even more helping hands to give him the care he will need.

With much love, Lynne, Scott, Daniel, and Becky

Scott was finally able to be moved out of the ICU this morning about 10:30am. The ICU medical team had started discussing the possibility last Thursday or Friday, so I hoped and expected it to happen one of the days earlier this week while I could be there. But, of course, it happened today when I had to be at home to take care of several things. Still, God provided friends who could be with him during this transition when I couldn’t. Thank you so much to Bill Fernald and Rene Gabriel for being willing to give him some company and comfort today.

The big goal now is for him to gain upper extremity strength and increased torso balance so I can manage him with transfers, and then he can come home! As of dinner yesterday, he was able to eat soft/pureed real food, and he was doing well with his intake, as long as he ate slowly and well so as not to choke. He will still need tube feedings for a while, since he literally just doesn’t have the energy to spend the time it would take to slowly eat all the nutrition he needs. Nausea, as one of the side effects still ligering from the chemo, is still often a problem, too. We don’t know yet how long until he will be ready to come home, but I can pretty much guarantee I will need a lot of help when that time comes.

Becky and I will be heading back up to S.F. tomorrow morning. It will be a little easier for her to handle now that he is out of the ICU. All the machines, monitors, and tubings can be pretty scary and overwhelming for anyone, especially if it’s your dad in the middle of all the above.

I haven’t actually seen the open wound area at his tailbone for a few days now, but the nurses reassure me they feel it is healing in a little better now with his new bed.

Would continue to appreciate prayers for all the headaches, pressures, documentation, and paperwork that go along with all the application/approval processess for the new insurance and for MediCal. Phone calls and searching for necessary documents and information seem to take up the vast majority of my time when I am home. As you can imagine, life over the past almost year and a half has been a little less than organized for us, so it’s often a great victory when I can find something I’m looking for.

Thanks from both Scott and myself, as well as Daniel and Becky for all the continued prayers and practical support. We truly feel that if we had to go through something as difficult as this, God could not have put us in a better place with better help and support than right where we are. All of you have been the hands and feet of Jesus helping us survive in all the necessary practical needs as they have arisen. We could not ask for more of an outpouring of love than we have experienced so continually from all of you through all of this.

God bless you all,

Lynne, for the Halversons

It’s Monday afternoon, March 30th, and Scott and I are hanging out in his ICU room. He’s tired, but reading a BusinessWeek magazine for something to do as another day goes by – at least we get to be together. He’s been listening to his “70′s” songs playlist on iTunes on his laptop, and several of the staff keep coming in to say how much they’re enjoying his various songs and music genres. Not their usual ICU patient!

He’s been having feeding tube problems again – not pulling it out, but it got kinked and out of position and had to be replaced. Fortunately, he’s been able to take clear liquids like beef or chicken broth, clear sodas, and juices, so he’s been able to do okay with some nutrition intake.

He’s been off the IV BP med (Dopamine) now for several days, and the oral med they’ve used to replace the IV med has actually been decreased also, so this is very good news. His body his taking back over the function of keeping his BP up adequately.

The open area at his tailbone is responding very well to the decreased pressure of his new bed, and as the pulmonary clots continue to slowly shrink, he’s having less respiratory secretions and generally breathing easier.

Thank you to friends Susan Schaaf and Marty Walker for taking the time to come visit and be with Scott yesterday while I had to spend a day at home catching up. It really helps keep his spirits up to have some occasional companionship and encouragement.

Saturday, one of the hematology/oncology docs came in to see Scott, and Scott raised the question about when the stem cell harvest would be. I realized at that point that even though he was awake and nodding when one of the other docs had announced that there could be no stem cell harvest or transplant a few weeks ago, he had no memory of it now. So I had to break the unpleasant news to him all over again why there couldn’t be any stem cell harvest or transplant. It was hard for him emotionally to process the news – that barring divine healing, there was no longer any long-term survival option medically. We talked about it for a bit, and there were some tears on both our parts. He asked if his family in Seattle and Daniel and Becky knew yet about this decision, and when I told him that yes, we had all had a couple of weeks to process the news, he seemed to feel a little easier. I think it helped him that everyone knew and had been praying already.

He was pretty quiet and thoughtful much of the rest of the day, but before I left, I felt like he had found some strength, and was ready to trust God and deal with whatever happened, and to still fight with all he had to be able to get home for as long as possible.

The ICU medical staff have been talking for a few days, now, that he’s so close to being ready to transfer to a step-down unit, but then something else happens, and it’s delayed another day. Please pray that all would come together so he could be stable enough and ready to get out of the ICU. This coming Wednesday will mark 7 weeks in ICU, and 9 weeks total in the hospital.

I know sometimes I feel like a broken record when I say thank you over and over again as this long pathway continues on and on. But we are so truly grateful for all the prayers, comfort, help, and encouragement so many continue to give untiringly. God bless you all.

With love,

Lynne for the Halversons

It’s late Monday afternoon, and since he didn’t sleep very well last night, Scott’s been sleeping much of the day. Overall, though, it’s been a really good day for him. The PET scan was bumped to tomorrow morning, but I just found out that before today is over, he will be getting CT scans of chest, abdomen, and pelvis, which they can then compare with the PET scan tomorrow.

He got a “swallow” test by a speech therapist today, which he passed with flying colors. They will wait and repeat the test tomorrow, and if he continues to do as well, he’ll be ready to try some soft food. YAY! He’s been telling me for at least 2 weeks now that he’s hungry for real food.

He’s been off the ventilator continuously since Friday morning, and has the speaking “button” in pretty much all the time now. We’re doing a lot of laughing because of his weak voice and my laryngitis voice. I often have to whisper in his ear for him to hear me over the roar of the oxygen blowing at his trach. I’ve been offered a speaking “button” by some of the staff, just in case it would help!

They’ve been able to turn the IV BP med (Dopamine) way down, but it’s still not quite off yet. Many improvements and answers to prayers. Some staff are saying that if he continues as well as he is doing, there’s a very good likelyhood he’ll get to be discharged from ICU to a step-down floor perhaps by the end of the week.

I feel like I both do and don’t want to know the results of the CT and PET scans. He’s been doing so well and progressing so unexpectedly rapidly that it would be hard to hear really negative results. But since they’ll obviously need to know the status of the cancer to plan for his discharge from ICU, as well as hopefully eventually home or to rehab, they will be very important indicators.

Please pray for the results that they would be helpful in his prognosis. I would of course LOVE to see everything come back NEGATIVE and clear, but more than that, just pray for us to keep trusting God’s love and provision for us no matter what the outcome.

Many thanks and many blessings on you all,

Lynne, Scott, Daniel, and Becky

Late afternoon, Monday the 16th. Had gone home Saturday evening as Scott was generally pretty stable. My 2 sisters, Irene Nelson, and Kerry Geist, had come down from Grass Valley and Sacramento, respectively, and kidnapped me to go to lunch at the Cliff House on Saturday. Thank you to brother-in-law, Steve, for treating us! Also our friends from near Seattle, Ted and Jane Hutchinson (who were planning on coming down next Saturday) packed up and drove down unexpectedly to arrive last Saturday, so they’ve been at home with me and the kids all day yesterday.

I got back up here this morning, and we waited all day to hear from the OR that they were ready for him so his permanent pacemaker could be inserted. They called about 3pm and his nurse had all tubes, wires, and cables disconnected from the bedside equipment, and reconnected to all the portable machines by 3:30. Then OR called and said he was canceled, so she reversed the whole process, had just finished, when OR called again a little before 4pm and said he was on again and wanted him now. I felt so bad for her repeated work load, but she handled it all with patience and aplomb, and I was very grateful for her wonderful attitude. So he left right after 4pm, and the anesthesiologist said it would be a good 2 1/2 – 3 hours before he’d be back in his room.

Scott has been sleepy off and on today, but when he is awake, he’s definitely all there, alert and oriented. I am now some of the time able to tell what he’s trying to communicate, but he still gets frustrated when I can’t catch it, and he wears out from trying. One of the things I’m concerned about is that even once the permanent pacemaker is in, working, and fine, another symptom of the vagal nerve being affected is that he wouldn’t be able to keep his blood pressure up (because the vagal nerve also controls vascular tone and constriction). Over the weekend, he’s had to be on gradually more and more IV medication (Dopamine) to keep his BP in acceptable ranges. There’s a hopeful likelyhood of the BP stabilizing out once the permanent pacer is in, but that remains to be seen.

Another concern and prayer request involves Scott’s health insurance. I got a call late Friday afternoon from a hospital financial advisor explaining that Scott’s $2,000,000 life-time limit was almost gone (especially at $20,000/day in the ICU!). She suggested a few things, one being to apply for MediCal health insurance, if we qualified. I would need to do so in our home county of Santa Cruz, but it was too late to do anything about it on Friday. So this morning, before I left, I spent a frustrating 1/2 hour working my way through their phone tree and on hold 3 times since the call got dropped twice. The best they could do was send a packet in the mail, but I would still need to apply in person in Santa Cruz with all necessary legal and financial documents and information.

Since there would likely be a lengthy gap between the end of Scott’s insurance limit and the onset of MediCal, I called Mount Hermon’s wonderful insurance broker, David Angel, to see if he had any suggestions or counsel. He has been able to set us up with an interim (though expensive) health insurance option to begin right at the end of Scott’s limit of coverage. Much of today has been a little hectic with e-mailed application forms, which the financial office here at UCSF printed off for me to fill out, then faxed back so all could be expedited as soon as possible. Thank you so much, David and Alden for all your help and expertise!

Sorry for the lengthy blog note this afternoon. I didn’t think there was enough to give an update over the weekend, but I guess it sort of all happened today. Well, it’s just shy of 6pm, and just got a call from one of the cardiologists that Scott’s almost done, all went well, and he’ll be back in his room in an hour or so after a stop in the recovery room.

Would appreciate prayers for good stabilization of his heart rate and BP with the pacer, and also that all the insurance issues will be resolved quickly.

Scott sends his love and thanks for all the visits and encouragement from so many people. Bless you, Paul and Laura Sampson, for going back up yesterday to sing and play guitar for Scott, after already having come up once the day before. Thank you to all who are being the hands and feet of Jesus to us and our kids right now. We are SO grateful.

Lynne, for Scott, Daniel, and Becky

Early afternoon, Thursday. By the time they figured out what needed to be done, yesterday, it was too late to get either MRI or pace maker accomplished. So it was scheduled for 10 this morning to get the MRI done first with anesthesia support, then right after go to the cardiac cath lab and insert the pacemaker with same anesthesia staff.

I called in about 9 this morning to find that he had been bumped up because of need and taken down about 8:30 for the MRI. Arrived about 10:30 to find him in his ICU room – he went into asystole again while preparing him for the MRI, and needed meds and chest compressions to revive him.

Right now they are in process of inserting the pacemaker in his room since he is so unstable. This will mean they can’t do the MRI because of the metal associated with the pacemaker, so they will have to rely on getting some CT scans done to check the status of the cancer. But basically, all the hematology/oncology docs are expecting to see that the cancer was not arrested by or sensitive to the chemo this time around, and it is working its way up his central nervous system. His heart is healthy, but it’s the ennervation to his heart that is affected right now. This means that the pacemaker may stabilize his cardiac status for a while, but it remains unknown how long it will be until additional CNS areas are affected, such as the basic brain stem functions.

Truly, short of God’s intervention, I don’t believe, as a nurse, that he has much time left on this earth. I guess no matter how many times I may have thought or feared that, it still doesn’t seem real that I’m actually having to write that statement. I know and understand and can converse with all the medical and nursing staff about everything that’s happening, but it’s not just another patient. It’s my beloved best friend and husband, my life partner, whose physical body is more and more ravaged by the cancer, that is the patient.

Please pray for Daniel and Becky as this all unfolds. Please pray for Scott that God might will it to step in and give healing, but also pray for me that when and if the time comes, that I will be able to say as Job said, “The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.”

Lynne, for the Halversons

It’s early afternoon on Wednesday, the 11th of March. Today marks 4 weeks for Scott in the ICU, and 6 weeks in the hospital. Yesterday was a bit of a better day – they were again working on decreasing the ventilator parameters as well as the sedation, so he was more awake and alert in the afternoon. We were able to communicate a little via hand signals, mouthed words, guesses, and head nods or shakes. Still it’s very frustrating for him to be unable to talk, and he’s too weak and tired to sustain any communication for very long. Today he is scheduled to go down around 3 pm (more or less) for the all important spinal MRI to determine the status of the cancer. We hoped it might happen yesterday, but anesthesia stand-by was necessary because of the respiratory arrests, so couldn’t be done until today. The results from this MRI will enable the hematology/oncology docs to determine what plan is possible. Scott is no longer a candidate for any more chemo for some time to come because of his weakened status and the pulmonary clots.

So it’s mid-afternoon, and much has changed.

Scott had another arrest episode, and I was here and watching as it happened. His heart rate on the monitor slowed way down (30′s-40′s) a few times and came back up, then started going into asystole (no heart beat) as he was just lying there, no suction or stimulation of any kind. Rapid IV epinephrine was given and he responded very quickly with normal rhythm and BP.

So, all the cardiologists have been in, want to put in a temporary cardiac pacemaker. When asked why this is occuring, they said that right now they aren’t sure, but something neurological may be affecting his vagal nerve, possibly the cancer if it is progressing. It’s highly critical that he get the MRI done so they can know what they’re dealing with. Right now I’m waiting to hear whether the pacemaker will be placed first, or preferably, the MRI get done since he responds so well with meds.

I guess the results of this MRI will pretty much determine his prognosis. Please pray for the MRI to be done today. Please pray for any kind of a hopeful result.

Still hoping, praying, and trusting, Lynne