Hi Gang, Scott here. We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas Day with family – what a gift. I trust your Christmas was equally meaningful.

Well, big news: UCSF has decided I’m healthy enough for their bone marrow transplant (BMT) program, and they are submitting it to insurance for approval (“shouldn’t be a problem” were the words of the BMT representative who submits such things). January 12 is the tentative date, though it could get pushed back to a day later that week depending on hospital bed availability.

The whole thing looms large and scary before Lynne and me. I mean, we have to do this – it is my one known medicinal method to get rid of this Burkitt’s Lymphoma. But it is so risky, as on one occasion they’ll take my blood cell counts down to zero, and later on kill my immune system (in preparation for putting in the newly growing stem cells that will rebuild the immune system). I’ll be really sick and very weak, and it is quite likely that I’ll lose more muscle mass (meaning I’ll potentially be back to square one on retraining my body how to walk – a process which continues to presently proceed nicely). All told, the whole process will take a minimum of 4 months – and that’s if I don’t get sick or develop other problems (ie, reappearance of cancer). It’s just a long daunting road ahead, and we are already weary.

Someone told Lance Armstrong that beating cancer is similar to finishing the Tour de France – you need to conquer two huge mountain ranges (Pyrenees & Alps) and several other challenges along the way. For a while, that was a good metaphor for us. We feel like we’ve already ridden to the top of the two mountain ranges, with heavy Chemo treatment last winter and spring, and then a second dose of heavy chemo this summer and fall. But y’know what? We have one more mountain pass to conquer, and it is even more intimidating.

About every 5 years or so Lynne and I pull out The Lord of the Rings and read it aloud to each other, inevitably gleaning new wisdom each time we read it. We’ve been doing this during the weeks I’ve been home, and this year it reads very differently. If you know the story, we identify very strongly with Frodo and Sam – we just crossed into Mordor, and are on our way now (with the BMT) to Mount Doom. Do we have what it takes? Will we be successful? How can our dwindling energy possibly sustain us?

These are some of the things that Lynne and I are working through. Our faith in God remains solid, though, that is for certain. God is the Great Redeemer, and we know at some point the discouragements and evils of this cancer will be put to amazing use by God.

And – I’m presently on about 10 weeks of being cancer free!

We’d love your prayers for

Health, especially protection for Scott. Daniel was running a 101.1 temperature last night, so Lynne promptly got him in to the doctor and he’s now on an antibiotic.

Stamina for Lynne, and wisdom as she works with doctors.

For the kids as they cope with the uncertainty of this situation.

I’m going to be in the hospital for at least another 8 weeks. We’re trying to get our heads around how much time Lynne spends up there with me (a component which has proven critical to sick Scott getting the best care) – and thus, away from home and kids. And we have some generous friends that have volunteered to come spend sizable amounts of time with Scott to sub for Lynne. Pray for wisdom as we try to sort out what this will look like.

Pray that I stay cancer free until the BMT process starts – otherwise the whole thing gets canceled.

Well, if you’ve read this far and have kept up on the blog, you must really love us! This is my second straight “downer” kind of an update and I am heartened by the love you show me. Thank you to all who are “scuffing their knees” on our behalf – we completely are in need of your prayers, and are so thankful for them.

Gratefully, Scott, Lynne, Daniel and Becky

Scott here:

Today was a good and busy day. Great physical therapy session (walked 4 steps!) and got my teeth cleaned at the dentist’s office (which will protect me from infection). And, most important (as of last Thursday) a continued lack of evidence of any cancer in my body.

You’d think that, in addition to being home, that I’d be flying high right now. But I am struggling many times to not be downhearted. For one, I still have months to go in my treatment – with no guarantee of success at the end of that road. That’s a hard outlook to face.

Today at the dentist’s they fitted me for some “molded teeth trays” (what do you call those things?) that will deliver flouride more effectively. Strangely I got teary-eyed (I freely admit an overreaction, but read on). So I thought I’d share with you some of the lament in the heart of this cancer patient, spurred on by todays flouride news.

What now, Cancer? You say you’re giving me a new gift – flouride teeth covers. Wow – will I enjoy this as much the gift of tingling and hurting toes that I now constantly feel? Or the fuzzy Chemo Brain your medicines have left me with that cause me to forget things and distrust my mental acuity?

And what about the things you’ve taken, Cancer? Like the last year of our family life. LIKE MY HAIR! Like 45 lbs., some fat, much muscle. And then the “gift” of damaging leg nerve endings, compounded by the lost muscle so that I’m presently wheelchair bound (but we’re fighting that nerve damage, Cancer, and, as you know, I’m making progress every day).

Most of all, Cancer, I just want my life back. I want to wake up again so excited to start the work day that I get to the office way early. I want to take my wife out to nice dinners and romance her. I want to get on that new bike of mine, ride Mountain Charlie Road to the Santa Cruz summit. I want to travel. I want to again be a solid contributing member of the Mount Hermon team. I desperately want to be there for my kids – 18 & 16, not that far from leaving the nest. And I especially want to see my family in Seattle – Mom is 90, and there aren’t many visits left. I want my life back.

God in Heaven, you hear and know all the laments of my heart. Thank you for being a God that is near to the broken-hearted. Thank you for time and time again in this last year showing your love for us through your people – their prayers, gifts, innumerable support, incredible friendship.

I know, God, that you are in this and that you have already done substantial healing in my body. But it’s a long, unknown road, and, God right now my faith and gratitude are mingled with fear. Please help me, Oh God, to faithfully and courageously walk this road laid before me. I trust You – please help me with my fear.

How long, O Lord? How long?

So there you have it – the state of my heart right now. I trust as always you’ll forgive my long and wide-open entry. Thank you again and again for your prayers – I think you can see I covet them!

Scott

Greetings, Blog Readers – Scott reporting this time!

Scott’s health

We met last Thursday with Dr. Kaplan, our Oncologist at UCSF. After reviewing how my health is presently, we pushed Dr. Kaplan with the question “why not proceed with Bone Marrow Transplant (“BMT”) right away and get it done with? I (Scott) feel ready for it”. His answer was as follows: “I don’t think you’re healthy enough yet for it. I’m afraid I’d kill you……also, your treatment regimen has been so unusual that it’s hard to predict how you’ll respond – and I’d rather have you in better health…walking a bit”.

So, there straight from the horse’s mouth the reasons for the delay. Lynne and I are now “best guessing” it’ll be early January before the BMT. (And then months of recovery after that).

So I’ll probably be home for Christmas! God is so good – if there are two days during the year that it would be emotionally difficult to be in the hospital, it would be Christmas & Thanksgiving.

Aside from a minor cold that I’m (along with the other 3 Halverson’s) fighting, I’m doing pretty well, biggest news being that tests continue to show me cancer-free (no doubt in large part due to the spinal injections I get containing effective chemotherapy) . As for my mobility, literally every day we see new signs of progress in the leg muscles and nerves, and last night for a few brief minutes I was able to put all weight on my feet, stand up, and take a few halting steps. That said, progress is slow (definitely too slow for this hard charging Halverson!). But we are gradually but steadily moving from the wheelchair to walking.

Heroism

Every blog entry is precious to us and truly ministers. My friend Brett Morgan, near the end of the preceding Blog entry, posted some very kind thoughts regarding Lynne & I being heroes. Brett’s thoughts stirred some thoughts I’d like to share:

If Lynne and I are inspirational, it’s in large part due to the prayers of thousands. We are prayed for regularly by believers in India, China, New Zealand and of course the US. Daniel Das’ church in India did a week of fasting on my behalf! Using Jesus’ parable of the unjust judge who finally relented to the requests of a widow – because of her persistent asking – God’s prayer request door must be getting banged down with my name! So a huge part of our “success” has been answered prayer.

Plus we have a huge amount of people locally helping us. If we were to list all that we were helped with just last week, it would fill this page.

Our church (Santa Cruz Bible) has stood beside us and been a big help. And, quietly but ever so effectively, my employer (Mount Hermon Association) has been amazing – coordinating meals, rides for our kids to school, housecleaning, pretty much anything we’ve needed. Also, several members of Lynne’s family have been hugely instrumental in helping our family home life try to feel a little closer to normal.

So my point, by now obvious, is that Lynne and I are part of a huge team – and that has a lot to do with our success in surviving to date.

Two heroes I itake a lot of inspiration from are Tolkien’s Frodo and Sam (from Lord of the Rings – and not the apostate film version of Frodo and Sam, but the book version). Over and over again you see Frodo make the hard choice: to sacrifice his self interests in favor of others, knowing it may even cost him his life. But his greatest work is with Sam; Sam, small-minded and bigoted at the beginning of the story, becomes transformed over the course of the story by being with the gracious and sacrificial Frodo. At the end of the book, we see Sam dignified, a leader, confident.

Thanks for listening!

Prayer requests

Scott

• That I can walk, even fleetingly, in time for our December 23 appointment with Dr. Kaplan
• Brett had some very insightful comments – they put into words some issues that I struggle with: (Brett comparing his appendicitis diagnosis with cancer patients) “I knew I would be leaving the hospital; I knew what my life would look like just a week or two after the surgery; and I knew that my life would return to normal.”. That unknown aspect can really torment someone in my shoes. Pray that I would experience God’s peace here.

Lynne

• Stamina and health. She is working morning to night on Husband and Home, with little break.

Thanks for your care for us, and for bearing with this long Blog entry!

Happy Thanksgiving + needed prayer

Happy Thanksgiving (a bit late)! As most of you know, I (Scott) arrived home the day before and got to enjoy the holiday. Lots of cool highlights to relay:

• Going up the way cool wheelchair ramp built by Mike Kaping and others at church. I would not have been able to get upstairs in our house without this ramp.
• Lynne’s brother Craig and sister in law Kim brought us a Thanksgiving dinner. Great food and even better conversation. What a gift this was to us.
• Saturday we went to hear the speakers (Bill Butterworth and René Schlaepfer) at Mount Hermon’s Thanksgiving Camp).
• Sunday we took the wheelchair down to Santa Cruz’s spectacular West Cliff Drive. It was around 70 degrees, the waves were crashing higher than normal, and it was an unforgettable experience.

So you can see we’ve been busy since I got home. All of this has been ministering to the hurting part of my soul after 60 days in the hospital.

Prayer

We learned today that our insurance company technically hasn’t approved the proposed bone marrow transplant treatment, basically because of the three times of relapse (July & Sept) where cancer re-appeared in my body. If all stays as it has been – Scott cancer free – then they’ll probably give final approval. PLEASE PRAY FOR MY CONTINUED GOOD HEALTH. There is NO other approved, curative method that the cancer medical community has to offer for long-term survival – besides the bone marrow transplant option.

Health

My legs slowly but surely are coming back alive! While I’m currently wheelchair bound, we’re guessing that I should be on to a walker in two weeks or less – and from there to crutches, cane and the walking. We remain encouraged as we see signs of growth & healing every day.

Lynne, now having a wheelchair bound patient in the home, works harder than ever. Pray for her stamina, health and continued good cheer.

Wednesday and Thursday we’re due back up in SF for more tests to confirm remission, an appt. with Dr. Kaplan, and another intrathecal chemo treatment. At some point in the next week, Dr. K will make the decision as to whether I’ll need more time to become stronger and more mobile before the next step, or whether to put me back into UCSF sooner to get going on the chemo/consolidation/stem cell harvesting. Please pray for wisdom for the medical team and Dr. K as this decision is made.

Thanks as always for your prayers – it’s been a long haul, and we surely are sustained by your intercession.

Gratefully,

Scott, Lynne, Daniel and Becky