Friday afternoon, here in the ICU. Scott’s still fairly sleepy and sedated, but he certainly still knows me when he’s awake. There are several very good things to report for him today.

Yesterday late afternoon, he had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy, under sedation, to look at both his upper and lower digestive tracts. They were trying to find any area that would account for the slow bleeding, but the oozing had actually stopped, and they couldn’t even find anywhere that looked suspicious. The final decision was that the bleeding was caused by the heparin (the anti-coagulant used to thin his blood to prevent clot formation), and stopped once the heparin stopped. This is a fairly common side-effect, so thankfully, nothing else was seen.

Also yesterday, Physical Therapy came in and had him briefly sitting up on the side of the bed. He wasn’t terrible comfortable, but the PT said she was very impressed with how much strength he still had in his arms – very good to know!

Today, they are little by little decreasing his ventilator parameters, hoping that if he tolerates it all well, they may even be able to extubate him today – and if not today, then likely tomorrow! Really excellent news!

It’s a little after 6 pm, and they kicked me out about 3:30 so they could take the breathing tube out. Yay! He’s breathing on his own! He’s still working hard to breathe, but so far, he’s holding his own. Hopefully, he’ll do well enough once they get him comfortable to be able to keep the tube out for the night. His voice is raspy, and he has some phlegm he’s trying to expel with a weak cough, but overall, he’s doing okay.

Our friends, Cathy (camp name – “Crutches”) and Bill Huckaby, both RN’s, are coming over tomorrow morning from the central valley to be with Scott for a couple of days and give me a break to be with Daniel and Becky. Thanks to both of you for being willing to spell me for a bit!

Please pray that Scott will be able to maintain his respiratory status and not need to be re-intubated. He is of course still pretty weak, but all other indicators are moving in good directions.

Thanks to all of you faithful prayer warriors upholding us before the throne of grace. It is because of God’s strength, and friends and family like all of you who are keeping us going during these very difficult times. Bless you all, and much praise and thanksgiving to our great God and Savior.

Love Scott, Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

P.S. It’s now after 9 pm, just got home, called the ICU, and unfortunately, Scott did need to be re-intubated not too long after I left. Not a big surprise, often happens this way – a patient is oh-so-close to being able to breathe okay without help, but not quite close enough. They’ll give him another day or two to heal some more, then likely attempt taking it out again.

Also tomorrow, they’ll resume the heparin, but at the lowest therapeutic dose possible to forestall any more bleeding problems. His own bone marrow is now doing well at producing the platelets and white blood cells that he needs.

About noon on Wednesday, February 25th, and I guess there are both plusses and minuses to report. When not sedated, he is still all there mentally and cognitively. I can see in his eyes just how much he wants to say something, and only sometimes am I (or the nurses) able to correctly guess what he’s trying to communicate. His lungs remain clear of any fluid, but the clots are still blocking enough air flow that he still needs the breathing tube and ventilator. Once or twice a day they decrease the vent parameters to see how he’ll do, but after a while he just starts working too hard to breathe, so he’s not ready yet for the tube to be out.

They are slowly increasing his IV nutrition and he’s tolerating that well, his white cell counts continue to rise, and the open area on the skin around his tailbone is looking a little better. He continues to remain stable as far as his blood pressure, pulse rate, respirations, and oxygen saturation.

Yesterday afternoon, he started showing symptoms of some slow bleeding in his digestive tract. They think it is likely an ulcer, but they need to locate and repair any open area, so he’ll be having an endoscopy this afternoon. Under sedation, they’ll put a scope down to look, and should be able to repair any open area at that time. Of course with the bleeding, the anti-coagulant medication had to be stopped to avoid any rapid or emergency bleeding, but that will of course slow the therapy for the pulmonary clots. He remains stable enough that they’re not concerned about a rapid bleed at this point, but of course they need to make sure that doesn’t have the chance to occur. They are supporting him with transfusions of blood and platelets as needed.

A bright point yesterday for both Scott and myself was when 8 members of the Mount Hermon supervisory staff, who have been Scott’s closest work companions, stopped by briefly to see him on their way home from a conference in Sacramento. I could tell he was very excited to see them, and that he so desperately wanted to talk with them, but couldn’t. It took all the energy he had to see them for a few minutes, then he slept for the rest of the afternoon.

Today marks 2 weeks that he’s been here in the ICU, and I continue to be so grateful for all the medical and nursing staff here. There is no hospital where I’ve been that has given better, more coordinated and compassionate care. I am truly impressed and thankful for both the skill level as well as the personal care and interaction.

Prayer requests would be:

1) Rapid resolution of the digestive bleeding issue with no emergencies!

2) Resumption of the anti-coagulant therapy as soon as it’s safe.

3) Rapid resolution of the pulmonary clots so he will no longer need the breathing tube and ventilator.
Thank you all for your love and prayers.

Lynne, Scott, Daniel, and Becky

It’s late afternoon on Monday, February 23rd, and Scott is definitely doing a little better, and he is able to be more alert. Most systems seem to be almost getting back to normal function, except for his respiratory status. His vital signs are good and holding well, his digestive tract and liver are slowly heading toward normal, and his white blood cell count is slowly, but surely, rising. He’s doing fine on the ventilator, but when they try to let him do more of the breathing, he is still working too hard to be comfortable. They’ve tried a couple of times today to decrease the vent parameters, but each time, he’s too uncomfortable to continue. He’s resting right now, actually watching a college basketball game between Louisville and Georgetown on ESPN – at least when he can keep his eyes open. His biggest frustration is being unable to talk or communicate much of anything, and mine is to not be able to read his mind!

He was actually alert and awake enough this afternoon so that I could ask him if he knew why he was here in the ICU. His eyes and the shake of his head obviously said he hadn’t a clue, so I was able to explain about the pulmonary clots, his needing the breathing tube, and how he had been very, very, sick, but that he was definitely doing much better now. He still has a ways to go with his respiratory status, but that will come with some time. I could see him digesting all the realizations and implications, then he kind of made a fist and pushed it into the air a few times with what strength he had. He’s not done fighting yet!

He was stable enough for me to come home Saturday afternoon so I could tell the kids in person about the medical decision that was given re: no stem cell harvest or transplant. It was not easy for any of us, but we did have some time to talk and cry together, and to answer as many questions and what-ifs as I could. Thank you to several friends and families who have taken Daniel and Becky in whenever they need or desire a place to get away to, especially when I am gone up to S.F. so often.

Thank you, all of you who have sent so many notes of encouragement, prayers, song lyrics, and scripture passages – all have been truly helpful and appreciated. I certainly don’t know or understand what all God is doing with all this, and I’m not certain I ever will this side of heaven, but it is very incredible and humbling to me to know that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people praying for Scott and our family. We are so grateful.

God bless you all,

Lynne, for Scott, Daniel, and Becky

Saturday morning, February 21st. I will try my best to briefly summarize how much has happened since yesterday afternoon, starting right after I posted the last blog.

He had a low blood pressure episode which required for the first time IV meds to help him maintain an adequate BP. Increased IV fluids helped.

Dr. Kaplan came in to see him, and essentially confirmed what I had been suspecting for several days, that because of his pulmonary issues, there could no longer be any stem cell harvest or transplant. There is a brief window of opportunity after the chemo in which to harvest the stem cells, or there can be no certainty of not harvesting cancer cells along with the stem cells. Scott is too unstable to have the harvest done, and will not be stable enough within the necessary window of time. Also, in his current state of weakness, he would never survive the even more rigorous regimen of chemo prior to the transplant.

Dr. Kaplan did state that he had had 2 patients who had gone into complete remission after having the two rounds of chemo just as Scott has had. But, when I pushed him on it, they were not Burkitt’s Lymphoma patients, but had less aggressive lymphomas. They also showed no evidence of any disease after the first round, and both Scott and I, as well as Dr. Kaplan were pretty sure there was likely evidence of the cancer returning right before Scott was admitted on January 28th.

So, where does this leave us? Once again, unless God reaches down and touches Scott with healing, it will likely be a matter of time before he goes home to be with his Lord. I know that God could chose to heal him, or He could chose to take him. I guess my fervent prayer would be that he could get through and survive these pulmonary issues so that he could get his breathing tube out. I hope we will have the chance to talk with each other again. I miss my best friend.

I had intended to go home yesterday evening to talk with Daniel and Becky in person, but was called back to the hospital as I was almost out of the city with what they thought at the time would be a life-threatening emergency. Fortunately it turned out to be other than what they expected at first. So, Daniel and Becky are not yet aware as I write this of the implications of this development. Scott is stable at the moment, and I am hoping early this afternoon to go home for a bit so I can talk with them. I would really appreciate no one communicating any of this to them until at least tomorrow (Sunday) so I will have the opportunity today. Gordy, Scott’s eldest brother, was able to be with his mom last evening to let her know of these developments.

Scott is actually doing pretty well this morning. They were able to stop the BP med, but he is still fairly sedated. He’s holding his own on his respirations and oxygen saturation, so hopefully, if his body doesn’t have to deal with any more emergencies, he might get the breathing tube out in a few days. When he is awake, he will look at me, squeeze my hand, and nod his head approriately to questions. He’s just very sleepy.

Thank you, all for your continued love and prayers.Thank you for walking this road with us giving much support and comfort.

Lynne, for Scott, Daniel, and Becky

It’s Friday morning, the 20th, and both Scott and I had rough nights. He is still intubated and working pretty hard to breathe. They had hoped to take the tube out today, but it’s not going to happen for at least today if not longer. Good things happening are: finally his digestive tract has kicked in and is working again after a week-and-a-half break, and his white blood cells are slowly continuing to climb. One worrisome new fact is that he now has a new skin breakdown near his tailbone which will need to be watched carefully both for potential infection as well as to make sure it is healing and not becoming deeper. For patients who are immobile, the greatest concerns for infection are pneumonia (he has some fluid in his lungs but there’s no infection so far) and skin breakdown.

Yesterday afternoon, I got here in time to say good-bye to Dan and Shelly as they had to leave. Their willingness to be with Scott in such a difficult time and place was so wonderful, helpful, and encouraging. Scott’s sedation yesterday was a little lighter so they could assess whether or not he was ready to have the tube out, but all afternoon and evening, he was very restless, agitated, and uncomfortable. There just is no way to be comfortable with 3 tubes down your throat aside from pain medication and sedation. He was so frustrated at trying to communicate with weak hand signals, and more often than not, we couldn’t tell what he wanted us to do for him. We tried to have him use a board with letters on it to see if he could get his message across that way, but he was too weak even for that. The ICU doc described how hard he’s working at breathing as though he were running a marathon.

Thank you so much for those wonderful ladies who are cleaning our neglected house possibly even as I write. I can’t tell you how much that encourages me!

Please pray especially for Scott’s respiratory status to improve and for the open skin area to heal well without infection.

Life feels very surreal right now. There’s a song that our son Daniel found for us a few months ago that both Scott and I really liked and identified with in how this whole process feels – even more so right now. It’s by Christian artist Bebo Norman, and it’s called “Pull Me Out.” Part of the chorus goes like this:

Maybe this is all about letting go. Maybe it’s all about just holding on…
Can’t get my feet off the ground, I wanna run, but I don’t know how.
Can You reach down here and pull me out, Can You pull me out.
I wanna scream, but there’s no sound, I wanna fly to You somehow.
Can You reach me here and pull me out, Can You pull me out.
Not a moment too soon, You will be my rescue.
But tell me, how long will it take?

We will keep trusting and holding on as long as He gives the strength.

Lynne

It’s Wednesday evening, and I’ve still been able to be at home for another day to be with out kids, catch up at home, and get some much needed rest. This has all been possible because of our dear and faithful friends, Dan and Shelley, who’ve been with Scott at the ICU, and kept me posted throughout the day as things have changed with Scott.

He continues to do a little better with his respiratory status. They’ve been able to change and lighten up his sedation a bit so he can at least communicate a little bit with hand signals. They were hoping to start giving him some IV nutrition last evening, but his liver still needs some recuperation time from the chemo. So they are beginning to give him the much needed nutrition through a small feeding tube. They’re starting off very slowly and with small amounts, but so far he seems to be tolerating it well.

His white blood cells continue to rise through this morning, though slowly because his body is heavily taxed and working hard to resolve other issues right now. They did drop a bit this evening, and none of the staff are quite sure why, but hopefully, they’ll head back up again tomorrow.

Thanks for all the many faithful prayers and pray-ers. It’s so encouraging when things can seem so dark sometimes. Thanks, too, to those who’ve volunteered to come clean my dirty house on Friday.

Many blessings on you!

Love Lynne, Scott, Daniel, and Becky

Well, as can quickly and easily happen in an ICU when respiratory status is at stake, things changed quickly for Scott this afternoon, and he has had to be re-intubated. The ICU doc doesn’t think it could be another clot since the filter is in place, but she is concerned about some secretions/fluid in his lungs that he’s been un-able to clear. They are concerned about possible infection, i.e. pneumonia. The doctor said she thought he would likely only need to have the breathing tube in for 1-2 days at most so he could get some rest and not have to work so hard to breathe.

Please pray once again that he will be able to overcome this setback and that his body will respond to the needed treatments.

Thanks to all of you as you hold Scott up to the throne of grace and mercy.

Lynne

Just wanted to put out a quick update note. Scott is definitely brighter, more awake and alert today. He’s stilll having some occasional respiratory issues, but the medical and nursing staff are great in diagnosing and treating problems right away. He asked to use his laptop and iPod today, so he’s definitely feeling better. His WBC (white blood cell) count still needs to come up so the inflammation in his mouth can heal, and so his digestive system can kick into gear again. One good sign is that tests and scans show no obstruction in his gut, and he actually said he felt hungry today, so that’s really good news – should start up soon.

I have to tell you all about another evidence of God’s timing in the midst of all this stress and chaos. I haven’t been home for almost a week. I literally had forgotten during the past week’s events that our good friends, Dan and Shelly Lawrence, had planned over a month ago with us that they wanted to come down from Seattle and be with Scott in the hospital for a few days to give me a break. They didn’t exactly expect it to be in the ICU, but were still very willing to come as planned. God knew I would need a break right at this very time, and set it up for just the right time when Scott would be stable enough for me to leave for a couple of days.

I’m home tonight, exhausted, but very thankful for God’s prepared provision ahead of time. He continues to go ahead of us on this long, difficult, and often very dark path, providing what we need to survive and not lose hope.

Some prayer and practical needs:

1. Continue praying for Scott’s increasing strength and improving respiratory status.
2. Pray his WBC’s will continue increasing quickly so many other areas can heal.
3. I desperately need some help with some housecleaning. If a few could come over as a group sometime later this week, please call Cindy Richie at 430-1230 to coordinate a time.

Thank you, and bless you all.

The Halversons

It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon, and I’m sitting in Scott’s ICU room with him, watching him sleep. He got the breathing tube out this morning about 9:30 or so, and is doing fairly well on high levels of humidified oxygen. He’s weak and exhausted, but doing okay. They will keep him in ICU for at least another day or two, maybe longer to make sure his respiratory issues are resolving and, hopefully, he’ll be needing less oxygen.

A really neat answer to prayer: yesterday, Dr. Kaplan said he didn’t expect Scott’s body to start producing his own white blood cells until tomorrow or Tuesday at the earliest. Knowing how much his body needs them to begin healing, I specifically prayed last night for the labs this morning to start showing an increase, and guess what – it happened! Once again, Scott and God confound the doctors!

Scott’s next oldest brother, Terry, flew in this morning, so both his brothers and his nephew were able to talk with him a bit. All three have now left to return home, but it was really wonderful for them and Scott to have a little time together. I was able to show Scott the signed Lance Armstrong jersey while they were all here, and he got tears in his eyes. Thank you again, SO MUCH, Bryan and Patty Hayes, the Amgen Race Committee of Santa Cruz, and Giro founder Jim Gentes.

He is, of course, needing a lot of sleep – his body is putting out tremendous effort in trying to heal. He is certainly not out of the woods yet, but overall, he is heading in the right direction with the help of some occasional breathing treatments. Please do keep praying for increasing strength, easier breathing, and the ability to rest in the midst of much noise and necessary treatments.

All in our family are so grateful for the many notes of prayers and encouragement. I can’t tell you how much they mean when pretty much your whole world is a hospital. God has been so good to us in so many uncountable ways, and all of you are a part of that goodness He has given along this path. God bless you all.

With much love, Scott, Lynne, Daniel, and Becky

It’s Saturday afternoon, and my Valentine is still sedated and on a ventilator in the ICU, but I would rather he be alive and in that state, than not have him at all. He’s stable and doing well, still necessarily sedated, and oh so close to being able to have the breathing tube out, but he’s not quite able to go on his own just yet. They think if they give him till tomorrow morning, he’s likely to be ready and be able to breathe well enough on his own without exhausting himself with the effort – excellent news!

This is the 4th day of the injections to boost his body’s white blood cell production, but it usually takes about a week to kick in and to have the increase show up in the lab results. Once the WBC’s come back up, all of a sudden everything can now start healing – his raw mouth, his inflamed and in-active digestive system, and a whole host of other chemo-caused insults. Obviously, the desired and necessary stem-cell harvest will need to wait until he’s stable enough, but the good news is that our BMT (bone marrow transplant) coordinator found me yesterday. He had gone ahead and put Scott’s name on the list for any time from next week on so that when he is healthy enough, there won’t be another long wait to get it done. Yay!

Today friends Sharon Barber and Tom Schmidt were willing to drive Daniel and Becky up to UCSF so they could see their dad for a bit, and visit with their Uncle Gordy and cousin Brad, here from Seattle. Scott was sedated, but he was able to respond enough to let them know that he was aware that they were there with him. It was not easy for them to see him in his sedated state, but they were comforted, I think, in having tangible signs that he knew they were there.

One of the really coolest things for Scott, though, is that as most of you are aware, he loves to bike ride, and Lord willing, he will someday be back out there on his bike. We’ve watched Lance Armstrong many times in the Tour de France and admired is incredible feats of strength and endurance. Lance also had cancer, and the book he wrote about his experiences, “It’s Not About the Bike,” was a great inspiration for Scott last September when he was going through 3 weeks of whole brain radiation. So, I got him for Christmas a black and yellow signature bike jersey with the logo of Lance Armstrong’s charitable foundation to fight cancer, “Live Strong,” on it.

Today, the Amgen Tour of California begins in Sacramento, and Lance Armstrong is riding in it. About a month ago, our friend Bryan Hayes, who also rides, and knows the local Santa Cruz coordinator for the Amgen Tour, Matt Twisselman, said that if I could get the jersey to him, he might be able to get it signed for Scott by Lance. Long story short, last Thursday evening, the deed was accomplished, and I am now waiting to show it to Scott until he is able to have the breathing tube out and no longer has to be sedated. Thank you, SO MUCH, Bryan and Matt, for something to help give Scott strength and motivation as he continues his fight with cancer.

Sorry for the long blog note, but I guess there’s a lot of waiting time in an ICU. I am very pleased with how I see him hanging in there on his own steam, and having the strength and endurance to keep going is spite of many serious chemo and medical assaults. Please keep praying for a good and speedy resolution of the respiratory issues, so that the much needed stem-cell harvest can be done when it needs to be in a timely manner. Thank you all for your continued love, prayers, practical help, and much comfort, given over so many months of this long, incredible battle for Scott’s life.

Lynne, Scott, Daniel, and Becky